The Observer, 5th September 2010

More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals

Denis Campbell

Campaign group Parity claims assaults by wives and girlfriends are often ignored by police and media

Assaults on men represent more than 40% of domestic violence in the UK.

About two in five of all victims of domestic violence are men, contradicting the widespread impression that it is almost always women who are left battered and bruised, a new report claims.

Men assaulted by their partners are often ignored by police, see their attacker go free and have far fewer refuges to flee to than women, says a study by the men's rights campaign group Parity.

The charity's analysis of statistics on domestic violence shows the number of men attacked by wives or girlfriends is much higher than thought. Its report, Domestic Violence: The Male Perspective, states: "Domestic violence is often seen as a female victim/male perpetrator problem, but the evidence demonstrates that this is a false picture."

Data from Home Office statistical bulletins and the British Crime Survey show that men made up about 40% of domestic violence victims each year between 2004-05 and 2008-09, the last year for which figures are available. In 2006-07 men made up 43.4% of all those who had suffered partner abuse in the previous year, which rose to 45.5% in 2007-08 but fell to 37.7% in 2008-09.

Similar or slightly larger numbers of men were subjected to severe force in an incident with their partner, according to the same documents. The figure stood at 48.6% in 2006-07, 48.3% the next year and 37.5% in 2008-09, Home Office statistics show.

The 2008-09 bulletin states: "More than one in four women (28%) and around one in six men (16%) had experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16. These figures are equivalent to an estimated 4.5 million female victims of domestic abuse and 2.6 million male victims."

In addition, "6% of women and 4% of men reported having experienced domestic abuse in the past year, equivalent to an estimated one million female victims of domestic abuse and 600,000 male victims".

Campaigners claim that men are often treated as "second-class victims" and that many police forces and councils do not take them seriously. "Male victims are almost invisible to the authorities such as the police, who rarely can be prevailed upon to take the man's side," said John Mays of Parity. "Their plight is largely overlooked by the media, in official reports and in government policy, for example in the provision of refuge places - 7,500 for females in England and Wales but only 60 for men."

The official figures underestimate the true number of male victims, Mays said. "Culturally it's difficult for men to bring these incidents to the attention of the authorities. Men are reluctant to say that they've been abused by women, because it's seen as unmanly and weak."

The number of women prosecuted for domestic violence rose from 1,575 in 2004-05 to 4,266 in 2008-09. "Both men and women can be victims and we know that men feel under immense pressure to keep up the pretence that everything is OK," said Alex Neil, the housing and communities minister in the Scottish parliament. "Domestic abuse against a man is just as abhorrent as when a woman is the victim."

'Male victims are almost invisible to the authorities,' says John Mays of Parity. Photograph: Guardian

Mark Brooks of the Mankind Initiative, a helpline for victims, said: "It's a scandal that in 2010 all domestic violence victims are still not being treated equally. We reject the gendered analysis that so many in the domestic violence establishment still pursue, that the primary focus should be female victims. Each victim should be seen as an individual and helped accordingly."

CASE STUDY

Ian McNicholl, 47, has painful memories to remind him of the terror he endured when he found himself a male victim of domestic violence.

His then fiancee, Michelle Williamson, punched him in the face several times, stubbed out cigarettes on his body, lashed him with a vacuum cleaner tube, hit him with a metal bar and a hammer and even poured boiling water on to his lap. That at 6ft he was almost a foot taller than her made no difference. He still has burn marks on his left shoulder from when she used steam from an iron on him. Williamson, 35, is now serving a seven-year jail sentence for causing both actual and grievous bodily harm.

During the trial last year McNicholl told the court that, during more than a year of attacks and intimidation, he had lost his job, home and self-respect. He had been too scared to go to the police and had considered suicide. She was only arrested after two neighbours saw her punch him.

Sentencing her at Grimsby crown court last year, judge John Reddihough told Williamson: "Over the period of time you were with him you destroyed him mentally and seriously harmed him physically, leaving him with both physical and mental scars."

This is not a surprise. The problem is that domestic violence against men is portrayed by the media as amusing. If a man on a TV programme hits a woman, this is portrayed as domestic violence and is unacceptable whatever the circumstances, rightly so. If a woman hits a man, it is usually portrayed as him having 'deserved it'.

If equality is to mean anything, then the same rules must apply.

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5 September 2010 6:17AM

My wife punched me in front of the kids when i was driving, she said she would cut off my fingers at night, so i went to the police. The police officer at the desk said that "Only men do the domestic violence here".

Eventually they interviewed us both, i was interviewed WITH her in the same room for 10 minutes. Then she was interviewed ALONE for 30 minutes and she told them that i has tried to strangle her. She came out with handfuls of anti - violence leaflets, they gave me NOTHING. I was lucky , they didn't arrest me !

I hasten to add, i NEVER EVER touched her(i nearly lost an eye once), and i left her several times, but there was nowhere for me to go.

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5 September 2010 6:31AM

Most men are a lot physically stronger than most women, but, we are not taught how to handle women when they attack us in a violent way. Most men are taught under no circumstances hit a women. There are ways to defend ourselves with minimum force. If you are in a relationship with this women, then leave her. And talk to people about it. I was attacked by a women I worked with years ago, on three occasions. I reported it but nothing was done. I pointed out imagine if I had done the attacking. My woman superior didnt seem to know what to do, and seemed to think that I deserved it. On the third occasion I was attacked I grabbed this womans wrists and twisted them around her back and forced her on to her knees. I didnt get any pleasure out of doing this and was quite shaken later. But I reported my action, and the woman was moved to another department and never physically at least, attacked me again. Some people men or women are just violent, horrible bullies.

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5 September 2010 6:55AM

I don't think it is a question of "being taught to defend ourselves from women", CunningStunts (good name hehe). When a woman attacks you, you do not know what to do, you are just frozen.. When women attack men, they usually use weapons and or stealth . They also use a third party.

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Men have been the victims of female domestic violence for quite a few years now. One of the reasons for this is that women are almost admired for demonstrating aggression, whereas boys and men are discouraged from exhibiting aggression. Also many young males have been conditioned into thinking that they must never use physical force on a female under any circumstances. This needs to change: they must be able to accept the proposition that physical force can be used on anyone, male or female, where it is necessary for the purpose of defending oneself from violence. I'm a married man; I am physically bigger and stronger than my wife and I would never raise a hand to her, but I would not allow her to assault me - I would use my strength to protect myself as the law allows and to subdue her within reason. Fortunately, I doubt this will ever be necessary.

I agree with the article that men can be victims of domestic violence and that this should be recognised by everyone in the field, including the police. And women should acknowledge it too.

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Domestic violence against men is the same nasty little secret spousal abuse against women was 40 years ago. And in order to change that, men need to mobilise. They need to speak to each other, share each other's burden, campaign widely and if needed set up their own resources, just like women did. No one gave them their first few refuges and laws without some serious work. And it's this campaigning spirit that accounts for why women seem disproportionately well served in this field.

Question what you see as unfair and force people in power to listen and draw attention to it. That's how the women's domestic abuse movement thrives.

Copy it, support your fellow men, don't fall into the trap of woman hating if that's something you accuse feminists of doing with you men and do something more about this inequality than post internet comments...

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I'm female . Most people just don't accept it happens or if it does then "he probably deserved it". I know 2 men who have abused by their partners , there might be more who keep it secret. Abuse that I have been told about has ranged from slaps and shoves to being kneed in the groin and attempts to stab them with a kitchen knife . Emotional abuse as you'd imagine, constant criticism about how useless and worthless they are, mind games and possessions being destroyed. Neither spoke much about it, I think they felt utter shame. Both stayed for many years- they had children and also (as is always so hard to understand) they still felt love for their partners when they were being nice (domestic abuse is usually followed by attempts to make it up in order to stop the partner leaving). My neighbour ,who is training to be a solicitor , told me quite openly in the street a few weeks ago "it's ok for women to hit men in order to keep them in line", she then added it wasn't acceptable to hit women , probably when she saw the expression of disgust on my face. No one ever deserves to be abused.

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