Sunday World, 5th September 2010

My life improved the second I walked out on my abusive partner

Amanda Brunker

But men are also suffering at home

OK EVERYONE, I hold my hands up, I've been sussed.

I'm a cold-hearted cow and a fraud!

Well, that is according to one TV3 viewer who caught my Midday show on Friday.

Speaking on the sensitive subject of domestic abuse I expressed how I was, "shocked" at the AMEN Annual Report which revealed exceptionally high figures for domestic abuse against men.

In 2009, the support group for abused men was contacted 3,644 times. That's a lot of men in crisis, and I'm sure it just reflects only a fraction of the problem.

Violence

The report stated that 43 per cent of callers were from Dublin north-east, with 38 per cent of abuse being psychological and 26 per cent being physical.

Sadly, violence towards men is still viewed as a joke by some people, or why else would we find it acceptable to laugh about the notion of Tiger Woods being beaten up by his wife with a golf club, or former tough guy Ross Kemp being slapped by his wife Rebekah Wade some years ago?

So on Friday to highlight the AMEN report we watched an interview that had been aired on The Morning Show, with an extremely brave man whom had been mentally, physically and verbally abused by his wife for years.

I understandably expressed my sadness and shock at his story when it came time for me to speak and urged any other men and women in similar situations to seek help and do what had to be done to escape existing in such relationships.

But amazingly enough, some Bridie rang up and ranted that I was faking my shock and that I should wise up and stop pretending to be surprised by the findings.

After all, I also had been in an abusive relationship many years ago.

And although I couldn't break free from the situation as soon as the abuse started, I did eventually get away from my abuser and life although messy at first, immediately got better the second I ran out the door.

While my patience was tested by my critic, on the flip side I was happy to debate the topic on the show with the hope to inspire some men and women to leave their abusive relationships.

If you are a man suffering at the hands of your partner please know that you don't have to live like this, nor should you feel any shame.

If you require any advice on this matter log on www.amen.ie and do it today.