Meath News and Sport, Saturday, December 18th, 2010

Abused fathers "dreading" Christmas without kids

By Louise Walsh

In the run up to Christmas, Navan-based support group Amen is being inundated with calls from fathers who are being denied access to their children.

Many of the 4,000 men who have contacted the group this year have had to leave their family home after being abused at the hands of their wives or partners.

One father who contacted Amen said: "I had to drop my children's Christmas present to a local garda station in the hope that they would deliver them for me as my wife wouldn't tell me where they were."

Another stated: "I can't bear to think about Christmas. It is heart wrenching to think that I will spend another Christmas in my bedsit without my children. I have begged their mother to let them stay with me but instead they will have Christmas with her new partner. I won't even be allowed to give them their presents until the New Year. I have been apart from them for three years but it hasn't got an easier."

Amen also heard from a newly separated father who told them: "I have spent every Christmas of my son's life opening his Christmas presents with him on Christmas morning. The excitement, anticipation and sheer joy that we have shared on those days is gone as this year, I won't see him over Christmas and have no phone access. Only for my mam and dad, I don't know where I would end up."

According to centre manager Niamh Farrell: "Many fathers are dreading the thought of Christmas without their children. They feel lonely, frightened, isolated and helpless. Mothers who use their custodial status to punish partners in this way should stop and think about the damage they are also doing to their children."

In 2005, the national Crime Council found that 26pc of men suffered domestic abuse but only one in 20 reported it to Gardaí.

Amen was established to give support to male victims of domestic violence and now offer a range of services including a confidential helpline, legal information and support group meetings.