Women's Aid last week warned that more and more women are trapped in dysfunctional relationships because of the recession. What they didn't point out was that the economic meltdown has forced some men into staying with abusive partners too.

Take John Gormley and Eamon Ryan, two mild-mannered chaps compelled to put up with intolerable treatment from certain Soldiers of Destiny to whom they became hitched a couple of years ago, simply because they're too afraid to face life (well, the electorate) in the midst of the economic equivalent of a nuclear winter.

Anyone with a modicum of self-respect would've packed their bags and walked out that door months ago, defiantly whistling Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. The problem for John and Eamon is that they're not sure anymore that they would survive.

First they were afraid, then they were petrified, kept thinking they could never live without Brian by their side...

Fianna Fail, meanwhile, carry on regardless, confident that history is on their side and that the thousand-year reign of the Culchies is just beginning. Or are we not allowed to say that? Former US president, Jimmy Carter, claims that the rising tide of criticism in America of the present incumbent is all due to racism.

Barack Obama should try that for his next campaign slogan: "Vote for me, or we'll tell everyone that you're Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan." It's a wonder the Taoiseach hasn't adopted the same tactic yet by claiming that all the people who fail to support him at this difficult time are fully paid-up members of the Anti-Culchie Brigade. Mind you, that wouldn't work either, because most of us would probably openly admit it.