Amen - Press Release, 6th December 2010

Press Release - Being a Father at Christmas

Christmas can be an emotive and stressful time for many families. One group that faces stress and strain during the festive period are separated and unmarried fathers.

As usual at this time of year, Amen is inundated with phone calls from fathers who are being denied access to their children. Many clients of Amen have had to leave the family home, due to abuse that they have suffered at the hands of their wives or partners.

One father who contacted us said: "I had to drop my children's Christmas present to a local garda station in the hope that they would deliver them for me as my wife wouldn't tell me where they were. "

Another father said: "I can't bear to think about Christmas, it is heart wrenching to think that I will spend another Christmas in my bedsit without my children. I have begged their mother to let them stay with me but instead they will have Christmas with her new partner. I won't even be allowed to give them their presents until the New Year. I have been apart fro them for 3 years and it hasn't got any easier. "

Newly separated father said: "I have spent every Christmas of my son's life opening his Christmas presents with him on Christmas morning. The excitement, anticipation and sheer joy that we shared on those days is gone as this year I won't see my son on Christmas day, I won't see him on St. Stephen's day. I haven't even got phone access. Only for my mam and dad I don't know where I would end up. "

Many fathers are now dreading spending Christmas without their children. They feel lonely, frightened, isolated and helpless. Mothers who use their custodial status to punish their former partners in this way should stop and think about the damage they are also doing to their children.

Many people do not believe that men can be victims of domestic abuse. It can be very difficult for a man to come forward and admit that he is a victim of domestic abuse. In 2005 the National Crime Council found that 26% of men suffer domestic abuse but only 1 in 20 men reported this abuse to the Gardaí. To date Amen has received over 4,000 contacts to the service this year.

Domestic violence is an issue that hurts every member of a family.

Amen's services include:

• A confidential helpline and a support service for male victims of domestic abuse.
• Information on legal and other remedies available to abused men.
• Support group meetings.

Amen is here to help stamp out the stigma that is attached to being a male victim of domestic violence.

Niamh Farrell, Manager,
Amen,
St. Anne's Resource Centre,
Railway Street,
Navan,
Co. Meath
Helpline: 046 9023718
Website: www.amen.ie
Email: info@amen.ie