How to recognise the signs of domestic abuse:

Am I experiencing domestic abuse?

Sometimes it can be hard to know if you experiencing domestic abuse and the following information is intended to help those who feel that this may be the case.
It is worth remembering domestic abuse is fundamentally the control of one partner over the other and this usually involves some or all of the following: emotional, verbal, financial – denial or control over necessities, sexual and physical abuse and digital and social media abuse.
The abuser is making the choice to abuse.
Some questions you might be asking yourself if you are unsure if you are experiencing domestic abuse…

Am I just in a bad relationship?

There is a significant difference between being going through a bad patch in a relationship, coming to the end of a relationship and domestic abuse.

While couples and families, can and do argue. In relationships that aren’t abusive, partners are not afraid of each other, are free to express opinions, do not seek to control and dominate their partner.

It only happens when he/she has been drinking and/ or taking drugs…

Alcohol and/ or other drugs do alter moods and can influence behaviour. Many people, however, use alcohol and other drugs and do not abuse their partners. Likewise some abusers do not use alcohol and/ or other drugs and still abuse. Alcohol and drugs can lower inhibitions and facilitate someone to do something that they were already planning on doing. The abuser always has a choice in how to behave.

It doesn’t happen all the time and when it does she/he is sorry afterwards…

Domestic abuse doesn’t have to involve physical abuse or happen all the time which can make it really confusing to know if you are going through it – abuse tends to follow a pattern and gets worse as it goes on.

He/She says, it’s only because he/she loves me, that why he/she wants to know where I am all the time to keep me safe and away from people that don’t appreciate me…

If you care about someone you want them to be safe and well, to have a fulfilling life and relationships with friends and family where they are appreciated for who they are. Loving someone does not mean needing to know where they are all the time and with whom; it means accepting that while there will be other people in someone’s life whom they also care about, even love, such as friends and family.