How to recognise the signs of domestic abuse:

Am I experiencing domestic abuse? Sometimes it can be hard to know if you experiencing domestic abuse and the following information is intended to help those who feel that this may be the case. It is worth remembering domestic abuse is fundamentally the control of one partner over the other and this usually involves some or all of the following: emotional, verbal, financial – denial or control over necessities, sexual and physical abuse and digital and social media abuse. The abuser is making the choice to abuse. The following is a list of indications of domestic abuse- an abusive relationship may exhibit one or more of these – and it is important to recognise the signs of an abusive relationship.
  • You are afraid of your partner.
  • You are constantly ‘walking on eggshells’ because of her mood swings.
  • You spend your time working out what kind of mood she is in and the focus is always on her needs.
  • She loses his temper easily and over minor things.
  • She has hit you or almost hit you and/or your children.
  • Your partner has been abusive in a previous relationship.
  • She criticises your family and friends and/or makes it difficult for you to see them or talk to them on your own.
  • She calls you names and threatens you and/or your children.
  • She is jealous and accuses you of flirting and having affairs.
  • She regularly criticises or undermines you in front of other people – including about the way you look, dress, and/or your abilities as a father.
  • Your needs are not considered important or are ignored, and she makes the decisions in the relationship.
  • You find it hard to get time on your own. When you do spend time away from her, she demands to know where you were and who you were with.
  • She controls your access to basic essentials such as the car, the family finances, food, the telephone and internet.
  • She has forced you to do something that you really did not want to do.
  • She has forced you to have sex with her or with other people. She has made you participate in sexual activities that you were uncomfortable with.
  • She has threatened to have you deported because of your immigration status.
  • She tries to control aspects of your life such as whether you work, and where; who you see and when; what you can spend; what you can wear; what you watch or listen to on the radio or television.
  • She demands to know the passwords to your email account and social networking pages.
  • She has threatened to kill you, or to kill herself or the children, if you leave her.
If you feel that you are in an abusive relationship and would like to speak to a trained domestic abuse support worker. Please click the link info@amen.ie , or contact the Amen helpline on 046 9023718